L’ amico immaginario
Passavo di qui per lasciarvi un augurio e vorrei farlo raccontandovi un aneddoto. Avevo tre marmocchi in macchina, li ho ritirati da scuola alle 12:00 di oggi. Uno l’ho partorito io, la rimanenza erano suoi compagni di classe. Intrappolati nel traffico, ho raccontato loro di come, quando litigo con Ale, io mi sfogo con lui: il mio amico immaginario.
“Che poi, dico io… Mille, mille volte gliele spieghi le cose e lui??? Niente! Da un’orecchia gli entra, dall’altra gli esce. Non ascolta, neppure se lo prendi a scopettate, ammazza se è duro di reni!!! Non sono il tipo, ma signoreiddiobenedetto se certe volte non gliela dovrei tirare una scopa. Una ciabatta, un… un… un… che ne so????! Ma poi… fosse scemo, fosse! No, non è scemo. Però… Sempre, sempre, sempre quelli i motivi. Ma…almeno, che ne so? Cambiamo argomento… litighiamo per altro, così uno se svaga, no? NO? Giusto? GIUSTO. Niente, niente, sempre per le stesse cose perché lui non ascolta! Eeeh, ma è un attimo prenotare un volo per Cuba, eh! Poi vojo vede’, eh, voglio vede’ se se la rimpiange ‘sta madre rompicoglioni – come dice lui che lo dice a voce bassa ma IO SENTO, IO!”
Tutto ciò lo racconto al nulla, senza virgole sensate, proprio come lo leggete, magari mentre mio figlio è incazzato nero e tappato nella sua stanza. Mi sente borbottare, ribollire, imprecare a mezza bocca e sfogarmi con il mio amico immaginario. Lo faceva anche mia madre, mi mandava fuori testa quando parlava con qualcuno anche se in casa c’eravamo solo noi due. Però, sotto sotto era divertente.
Ripensandoci oggi in macchina, mentre lo raccontavo in mezzo al traffico, ho iniziato a sghignazzare fino alle lacrime.
Ridere come una scema di me stessa insieme a tre adolescenti. Ecco, auguro questa cosa bella e leggera anche a voi. Il più possibile.
Buon Natale.
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