La Ferilli è ” ‘n attriSCE”
Sono giorni che diserto il blog, ma non esultate: nessun paladino della buona scrittura si è preso la briga di giustiziarmi. Di solito aggiorno questo spazio demenziale di sera ma, cribbio, è dal 14 Febbraio che c’è Sanremo!!! Potevo perdermi un eventone del genere? Certo che sì! Nonostante le apparenze giochino tutte a mio sfavore, custodisco ancora da qualche parte un paio di neuroni più o meno senzienti. Di base, preferirei eviscerarmi con una katana piuttosto che ciucciarmi Sanremo, ma in calce al post vi spiegherò come mai quest’anno mi sono infilata la divisa da masochista e non ne ho persa una serata.
Ieri l’ospite d’onore era la Ferilli e Roma ha vinto! Sì, il premio Bombolo/Er Monnezza, giusto per non smentirci mai e fare la nostra porca figura da peracottari davanti all’Italia.
Molti trovano il romanesco simpatico, colorato, caratteristico. Certamente lo è, come moltissimi dialetti italiani, non discuto. Ma quello che mi fa girare le balle di brutto è che i personaggi pubblici romani in TV non parlino affatto il romanesco, ma il coatto. Il che, fidatevi, è una differenza mica cavoli. E non è cosa facile cogliere quale sia questa differenza se non si è romani. E’ una questione di sfumature, di toni, di calata, di “sbragatura”. Dovrei registrare un audio per farvi comprendere la differenza, ma i miei concittadini sanno benissimo cosa intendo: basta un nulla per scadere nel coatto, anche soltanto il tono della voce. Come dice un mio caro amico, i coatti parlano con la tonalità del vomito.
Eppure è sufficiente concentrarsi un po’, soprattutto quando hai i riflettori puntati addosso e sei ospite di un programma che viene trasmesso in mondovisione.
Secondo alcuni personaggi marcare in modo così pesante il nostro dialetto fa simpatia, fa subito amatriciana, fa “Sora Lella”, fa “Grazie Roma” di Venditti, fa… Fa cagare, porca di quella puttana. Perché a Roma non parliamo tutti così. Sì, è verissimo, a pronunciare la “c” dolce proprio non ci riusciamo, dimentichiamo le desinenze “are – ere –ire” perché siamo pigri, massacriamo le doppie a seconda di come ci gira: sempre una in più o una in meno.
Non parlo affatto di soggetti come Floriana del Grande Fratello, ma di un’attriSCE come la Ferilli (solo un nome fra i tanti).Per chi non lo sapesse, la donna che ieri sera ha pronunciato chicche quali:
-
“ME metto qua?”
- Io credo CHE questa E’ una manifestazione che va molto amata, anche tutelata, difesa.
- E’ un gioco stupido che non mi vede mai ACCOSSESSSIENTE
- Vedere VERSO di ciò (leggasì “sciò“)
è la stessa attrice che ha doppiato in italiano perfetto e con una bella vocina garbata Sally, la fidanzata di Saetta Mcqueen , in Cars. Non lo sapevate? Ecco, ve lo dico io.
Infilate il dvd nel lettore e ditemi: è irriconoscibile, vero? Quindi ciò significa che se si concentra può farcela. Potrebbe dimostrare in scioltezza che durante le lezioni di dizione ha ascoltato l’insegnante, magari fra un morso e l’altro di pane e porchetta, ma l’ha fatto. E invece no, mandiamo tutto a puttane con un elegante: “TIETTELO da parte ER calendario”, che fa più “simpatia”.
Sabbrì, stamme a sentì e ficcatelo bbene in quella capoccia: ieri sera nun stavi alla fraschetta de Checco er prosciuttaro, ma a Saremo. Famo che pe’ ‘na vorta te ricordi d’esse un’attrice invece che n’attriSCE?
Sì, lo so. Ho lanciato l’appello nella nostra lingua madre, ma almeno così sono sicura che capisce. Forse…
E ora vi dico come mai in questi giorni, dopo essermi tenuta lontana dalla manifestazione per almeno 8 anni, mi sintonizzo su Sanremo. E’ grazie al consueto appuntamento serale/nottambulo sulla fan page de Le Nuove Mamme. Che cosa facciamo tutte le sere? Cazzeggiamo, è ovvio, in compagnia di una banda di squilibrati quanto e più di noi che si diverte a commentare Sanremo live. Ma non avete davvero altre opzioni per occupare il tempo in modo improduttivo? Sicuramente sì, potrei elencarvene almeno 10.000, ma credetemi: mai e poi mai mi sono divertita tanto a guardare Sanremo come in questi giorni. Se mi prendessi la briga di copia-incollare i commenti geniali che leggo ogni sera sulla nostra bacheca, disporrei di materiale sufficiente per mettere in piedi spettacoli umoristici per i prossimi 250 anni, e mi avanzerebbe qualcosina anche per assicurarmi il primo posto al Premio Massimo Troisi vita natural durante. Dovrei spacciare tutti quei commenti geniali come miei, ma dicono che il materiale pubblicato su Facebook sia di dominio pubblico, perciò…
Questo lungo preambolo per invitarvi a seguire l’ultima puntata di Sanremo sulla fan page de Le Nuove Mamme, perché vi assicuro che c’è da schiantarsi dalle risate. E io, tacciatemi di dannato snobismo, non sono una che ride facilmente.
PS: Se dovesse interessarvi leggere le recensioni su Sanremo pubblicate su Le Nuove Mamme, basta clikkare qui:
Prima serata / Sanremo: dal clarinetto alla passera
Seconda serata/ Sanremo: smutandato e idiota
Terza serata / Cambia la musica, quando cambiate gli autori?
Quarta serata / Non pervenuta causa influenza
Quinta serata/ Se sopravvivo la scrivo stasera 🙂
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Premesso che ritengo la “vexata quæstio” del romanesco vs. “romanoide” o “coattese” o comunque lo si voglia definire, un po’ fuori bersaglio, nello specifico, giacché quello che viene riportato è semplicemente un esempio di continuum italo-romanesco che è attualmente la cifra espressiva egemone di tutta la città (sfortunatissimamente) – e quindi devo contraddire la tesi fondante di questo articolo: a Roma parliamo proprio tutti così! 😀 Viceversa voglio confutare anche la luogocomunisticissima affermazione che a Roma si tronchino gli infiniti verbali per pura pigrizia, facendo notare che nella totalità dei dialetti mediani e perimediani, vale a dire quelli storicamente e strutturalmente più affini al romanesco, gli infiniti verbali sono ugualmente tronchi, senza contare che succede anche in molti di quelli nord-occidentali (gallo-italici); tutti affetti da pigrizia congenita? Non scherziamo… il fatto è che ciò che differenzia Roma dagli altri contesti linguistici, o lo fa comunque in misura maggiore, è la presenza del continuum, cioè una non ben marcata differenziazione fra l’utilizzo della lingua e del dialetto, in cui elementi dell’uno tracimano nell’altra e viceversa – e non vi riscontro “derive” coattesche; detto questo come dimenticare in ogni caso il fulgido esempio di dizione di SaBBBrinona nello spot pubblicitario di qualche tempo fa per “Poltrone Sofà”.?!
Ecco una trascrizione fedele di ciò che la nostra Attorona (sì, perché in romanesco dovrebbe dirsi “attora”, mica “attriSCe”…) si beava di proferire con espressione estasiata e mollemente adagiata su un divano come se fosse una matrona dell’antichità sdraiata su un triclivio (mancava solo “e’ rampazzo d’ua da spilluzzicà vaga pe vaga”). A ogni modo, la “nostra” eroA fieramente declamava:
“BoltOrone DsoVà! JJ’artiGGiani di GualiDà!”
Ah, che musicalità, che canto soave, che perla indimenticabile!
Questa sì che è un’… attriSCe… 😐
P.S. Nomen omen… neanche a farlo apposta l’hanno chiamata SaBBBrina! (Poraccia, e ch’antro potea esscì fori cor un nòme accusì?) Chiusa parentesi romanesca…
Scommetto che se la chiamavano, che so, Elena, o Eulalia, non faceva ‘sta brutta fine… 😀
Gosh, I wish I would have had that inmtfraoion earlier!
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Per spiegare a un non romano, e non a un autorevole esperto come te, la differenza fra parlata coatta e romanesco è sufficiente il cenno alla tonalità del vomito.
“A Roma parliamo proprio tutti così! 😀 ( cit. )
Convinzione tua, chi sarei io per contraddirti o per sindacare tutto il messale che hai riversato qui?
Lieta per te che tu disponga di tutto questo tempo. Io, sinceramente, ne ho un po’ meno. Peccato, avrei potuto postare diverse registrazioni audio dei tantissimi romani che non parlano coatto. Ne conosco un bel po’. Ma, sai com’è… abbiamo una vita, noi.
Very true! Makes a change to see soneome spell it out like that. 🙂
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