Mi hanno inclonato il telefono – Memorie di un operatore 187
C’è chi seda l’ansia con la Nutella, chi massacrandosi di ginnastica, chi si imbarca in sfide all’ultimo sangue su Ruzzle. Io mi distraggo dai cattivi pensieri lavorando a qualche piccolo progetto.
Confortata dall’esperienza positiva di un paio di amici, ho deciso di tentare la strada degli ebook formato Kindle su Amazon. Mi hanno inclonato il telefono – Memorie di un operatore 187 è il primo di una serie di piccoli (e spero fortunati) lavori che ho deciso di distribuire online.
Ho scritto questo stupidario professionale nel 2001, quando ero anch’io una donna cuffietta, l’ADSL e la fibra ottica erano diavolerie in fase sperimentale, gli iPad avevano appena fatto la loro timida comparsa sul mercato e Mamma Telecom reggeva ancora bene il monopolio assoluto (o quasi) della telefonia fissa italiana. Molti dei servizi menzionati in questo libercolo probabilmente non esistono più (in primis il famigerato 166, fido compagno pornazzaro di tanti adolescenti, ma anche di mentecatti più maturi), diverse procedure sono ormai automatizzate e non c’è più necessità di contattare un operatore per attuarle, le cabine telefoniche si sono trasformate in oggetti vintage.
Questo testo è perciò datato sotto certi aspetti, ma non per questo, ve lo assicuro, meno spassoso. Non una virgola di questo bislacco diario, che rappresenta un tenero ricordo degli anni in cui sono stata una donna cuffietta, è figlia della mia fantasia. Risulta difficile credere che non l’abbia inventato di sana pianta, ma non beneficio di un’immaginazione così sfrenata.
La sua prima pubblicazione risale al 2008 e, nonostante l’abbia ritirato dal commercio da diverso tempo, potete ancora vederlo esposto in qualche vetrina virtuale come IBS . Ne approfitto per precisare che non è affatto disponibile in quattro/sei settimane così come indicato sul sito; non azzardatevi a ordinarlo perché non vi verrà mai recapitato. L’unica versione attualmente in commercio è quella in formato kindle che ho appena pubblicato.
Lo scopo di questo libercolo è quello di farti sorridere, secondariamente serve a raccontare come la professione di addetto al servizio clienti di un gestore telefonico non sia una passeggiata di salute. Nella vita c’è di peggio, per carità di Dio, ma se “Mi hanno inclonato il telefono” servirà a risparmiare a un mio ex collega anche solo una parolaccia o a investirlo di una luce diversa (e non con un gigantesco SUV, il sogno ricorrente del cliente tipo), allora vorrà dire che, nel suo piccolissimo, questo libriccino un senso ce l’ha.
Occhio a un particolare: non difende a spada tratta l’ intera categoria: i call center pullulano di bovini incapaci, così come in enne uffici di millemila altri settori professionali. Quelli che spalleggio sono gli operatori che si guadagnano onestamente un magro salario, quelli che hanno la pipì che sta per uscirgli dalle orecchie ma non per questo dimenticano di congedare educatamente un cliente, quelli che vivono ancora l’ansia della precarietà e uno stipendio ballerino che non consentirà mai loro di realizzare i propri progetti.
È a questi ultimi che dedico questa piccola raccolta di corbellerie e il mio più ampio sorriso.
Nota tecnica: non è indispensabile disporre di un lettore Kindle per acquistare gli ebook su Amazon, puoi scaricare gratuitamente l’applicazione per leggerli ovunque, incluso il tuo pc, clikkando su questo link. Questo programmino è una cavolo di droga per chi – come me – non possiede kindle e/o cellulari dai superpoteri. Si scarica in appena 30 secondi sul PC e consente di leggere gratuitamente assaggi dei kindle presenti su Amazon, così puoi regolarti se valga la pena o meno acquistare il libro. Ne uscirò più o meno nel 2050, me lo sento!
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